Years before I became a mother, I knew God had a plan for me. I knew God would provide and I didn’t know if I would have one or 19. Not that I wanted 19, but that I wanted whatever God saw fit to give me. What I didn’t know was that God’s plan was to only give me one. One perfect child for me.
In the year and a half before becoming pregnant, I craved having a child. I dreamed of him and knew where he would be, what he would look like, etc. Because this process took a toll emotionally and lasted longer then I hoped, I found my self praying as Hannah did in 1 Samuel. I even had my very own loving Elkanah in Andrew.
As I prayed as Hannah did, I felt God saying okay, but just one. Just one? I was one of 3. Andrew was one of 3. If anything, we should have 3, but again, the answer was just one.
I questioned it a little but mostly was so grateful because this life I had been longing for was coming to fruition. Up until 32 weeks, my pregnancy had been normal and healthy. My baby was perfect and had the sweetest little disposition. I knew he was happy when listening to good music, especially classic rock. He was excited when his Daddy and I would read devotions and the Bible. He would freeze when his Aunt Kate would startled him by yelling and hugging my belly.
At 32 weeks, I began having contractions. Thankfully, they subsided. At 33 weeks I began to swell. We aren’t just talking about a good year blimp here. Folks, this was the whole fleet! I developed Pre-eclampsia but was able to carry Beau for another 4 weeks and 2 days! The delivery and weeks following were scary, not for his health but for mine.
Fast forward 4 and a half years later and Beau is healthy, sweet and to be perfectly frank, exhausting! He didn’t sleep through the night for his first 2 years and barely does that now. He has a sleep disorder that should be able to resolve soon. Because God said just one, we were able to focus on just him. We can see his needs easier as our attention isn’t divided among other children. There are days when I would love to have another but he’s a joy and I’m glad if I am a mother of just one, it’s this one.
Sarah-Jean Swain 